The History of Me

I've held off creating an online blog for many years, simply because I constantly seem to run across the blogs of random people around the world whenever I Google topics. I have dreaded thinking about my own blog popping up in someone else's Google search. Really, though...who the hell cares? Blogs were meant to be read, pondered upon...and who knows? I may even say something life-changing to a reader who stumbles across it...or not. Ha! Well, bear with me...my "enter" key is not functioning at the present time, so paragraphs cannot be separated...which kills my writer's heart. Hopefully, however, I will be purchasing a new keyboard this weekend to hook up to my near-ancient laptop and the problem will be fixed. In the meantime, I shall note paragraph separation with the trusted backslash!/ Let me give you a little background on me: I am 30 years old, currently living at home with my parents (more on this later), obsessively active in theatre (musicals are my great love), I have a bachelors degree in English Literature and am currently employed full-time at a very well-known bookstore. I don't love my job, I tolerate it. It is not my first choice for a career, but I promise, there is a great method to my madness. I must explain that the job market in my town is CRAP. Granted, I have a bachelors in ENGLISH, which isn't exactly a concrete SKILL, but I do possess a bachelors degree, nonetheless. I cannot even tell you how many basic office positions I have applied for...reception work, secretarial, human resources...the list is endless. I was lucky to be able to score a total of 6 interviews in the 4 month period during which I was unemployed between March and July of this year. Why? Not because I lack the necessary skills...oh, NO...it is BECAUSE I have a bachelors degree, and most companies around here are looking to hire high school graduates that they don't have to PAY as much. It makes me wonder why I even bothered going back to college if I can't even utilize my degree. And so, after swearing off retail for good over a year ago, I swallowed my pride and applied to The Bookstore (clearly not the actual name of the company, but since I am just getting used to this whole blogging thing, I feel that not mentioning it specifically is probably the safest option...just in case). I KNEW they would hire me, and if they DIDN'T...well, I would just throw in the towel, because what bookstore doesn't want someone with an English Lit degree working for them? Anyway, I was immediately called for an interview, immediately hired, and immediately accepted a $4.50 per/hr pay cut because I had no other choice. Bills were stacking up, and I had previously only begun to make a dent in the debt I had accrued while living with, and...consequentially, breaking up with...my ex-boyfriend. I was in no way, shape or form going to allow it to start stacking up again./ I must confess that my biggest reason for accepting the position with The Bookstore to begin with is because I'm planning a huge move to New York City next fall, and thought how smart it would be to work there for a year and then transfer to one in the city, thereby guaranteeing me a job the second I arrive. Make no mistake, I am still on the prowl for full-time employment elsewhere...one that pays at least $4.50 per/hr more than I am currently making, and preferably a Mon-Fri daytime work schedule. If I should find this glorious position, I would continue part-time with The Bookstore to ensure a transfer to a city branch later on./ This brings me to my current dilemma. I have been performing in theatre regularly for the past 12 years. On average, I have taken on 3 productions per year and have calculated that I have about 30 productions under my belt in total. I have always made theatre my first priority (after family, of course), and it has not been uncommon for me to neglect my career in favor of performing. Nikki, when I commented on your post about choosing career over theatre, I really meant it when I said I was going through what you are. I have one more play that I am about to start rehearsals for, and that's it for a year. I have to work, I have to make as much money as I can to take with me to the city so that I can start my life there comfortably, rather than starving. If the love of theatre is not in your blood, then you cannot possibly understand what a sacrifice it really is to give it up. By making this sacrifice, I am shelving a huge part of myself. Notice that I said "shelving" rather than "losing," because it's not "lost." It's temporarily put on hold. That is the whole reason I am moving to the city...to work in the evening so I can audition during the day. It's every actor's dream. And I'm finally going to live it./ Since Joe and I broke up in December 2006, I was able to resuscitate my life with a full-time commitment to theatre. My part-time commitment during my nearly 4 year relationship with Joe put a big wedge between us because he could never fully understand nor accept it as a major part of my life. He felt that he came second...and eventually, he did. / I finally mustered up the courage to end it after 4 long months just riding it out, and had no choice but to move back in with my parents. He and I had shared a joint cell-phone account in my name...he had promised to continue to pay me for his usage until he opened his own account...and he and his new girlfriend purposely went WAY over the alloted monthly minutes...downloading games, ringtones, the works...leaving me with astronomical bills, until I finally decided to let my inner-bitch let loose and reported his phone as stolen, consequentially having it shut off. I finished my last semester of college, graduating in May 2007, and dove head first in to one show after another. I did 4 shows back to back from June - December...the first two were an amazing blessing, as less than a year later I would find out I was nominated for awards for both roles. The third was a show that allowed me to spend time with old friends that I hadn't worked with in years. It was such a wonderful time for me...but I was neglecting the new job I had acquired. This job required me to work an insane amount of hours because I was salary...but at $25,000 a year, I didn't feel working 15 + hours of overtime a week was worth it because I wasn't making anything extra. Now, if I had been making $45,000 a year...absolutely. But the work load vs. the pay just wasn't equal. My boss was resentful of my commitment to theatre, and after putting aside a decent amount in my savings, I vacated my position without acquiring employment elsewhere. Not the smartest decision, I know...but when you get up for work every morning and then come home every night in tears, something has to give. My parents were very supportive of my decision. They saw the emotional mess I had turned into working for this woman and, as any parent does, only wanted their child to be happy. I was able to survive on my savings, as well as working for myself as a freelance writer and editor. I had taken a few months off of theatre to regroup after I quit my job, and in May I started rehearsals for what I consider the greatest and most challenging role of my career to date: Mrs. Lovett in "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street." The critical response toward the show was stupendous, we performed to sold out crowds, patrons requested photos and autographs, one gentleman told me I was "better than Patti Lupone and Angela Lansbury combined, and I saw them BOTH in this role!" The most amazing moment, however, came from two 12 year-old girls...Maya and Annabelle...I will never forget their names...who approached me for my autograph and appeared so nervous I thought they might be sick! Annabelle said to me, "I just want you to know that Mrs. Lovett is my dream role, I want to play her someday, and I have seen Angela Lansbury in the video of the show, and I saw the tour, and the revival with Patti Lupone, and the movie with Helena Bonham Carter, but you are my favorite out of all of them...you are my inspiration." I have never been so moved or so touched by something so sincere and heartfelt in my life...this little girl moved me to tears. I hugged them both, and I said to Annabelle, "Never let anything stand in the way of your dream...if you want it bad enough, you'll play Mrs. Lovett someday, and when you do, I hope that I will be fortunate enough to see you." / It was this experience, as well as the experience with the show as a whole, that made me ask myself, "What the hell are you doing with your life?" I could stay in my hometown for the rest of my life, working crap jobs and doing community theatre productions that will never really challenge me the way this role has...or I can bite the bullet and follow my own advice to Annabelle...follow my dream and not let anything stand in the way...do what I have always feared because it is truly what I love the most: move to New York City and try my luck with theatre there. I'm not getting any younger. And if I want to be happy...I mean TRULY happy...then I must take the road less traveled... / So, this was my long introductory post for those of you who happen to read it and are interested in getting to know The History of Jodie (well, the important stuff, anyway) before I start blogging regularly. I figured I would get it out of the way in one shot, so if I refer to something in a later post, you'll know what the heck I'm talking about! So, hey, thanks for reading (Nikki...cause I think you're the only one so far that IS!). Tune in later for far more interesting adventures!

The Syracuse, New York Premiere

Wow. I actually created a blog. I blame my friend, Nikki...she also has a blog here, and was my real inspiration in making one for myself. But I blame her in a good way. I think writing a blog will be beneficial to me...and maybe others, as well. Who knows. What I know is that I have a lot to say but no idea how to put it all in to words...hopefully, they will all just flow out of me as I go along. Bear with me, please...the "enter" key on my keypad is broken, and until I get either a replacement keyboard or a new laptop, everything I write will be in one paragraph form with no breaks. Oh, yes, by the way...I'm a writing snob. That would be why I am so concerned about the proper breaks in paragraph for appropriate emotional conveyance. Really, I'm just a pain in the ass. But a lot of people seem to love me despite that fact. This is pretty much just my introductory blog post to say HEY and introduce myself to the world of blogging. It's pretty late and I'm pretty exhausted, but I'll be back tomorrow with something more substantial to write about...Goodnight, all :0)